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Rijsdijk & Fidder
  • Meeting each other in dialogue
  • Rijsdijk & Fidder
    • About us
    • Karin Rijsdijk
    • Paul Fidder
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Look in my own mirror

About five years ago I started in a new coordinating position. I was expected to work differently from what I was used to and experienced in. I tended to be too business-like and a bit too detached, which resulted in the communication between my colleagues and I not being as open as it could be. I walked away and was not open to others.
Because Paul was my manager at the time, I saw him almost daily and spoke to him about the different issues with which I was dealing. Paul gave me tips and advice in such a way I could decide for myself what to do with them. Paul did not force his opinions on me, but always let me take the initiative. Because of his open attitude and because I knew him as my manager, this experience was a very positive one for me. I was open to it and tried to work with his advice.

When I found this did not provide the expected result and I faced a wall and personal difficulties, Paul offered to coach me. This choice was also not forced on me. I took his advice, aided by the fact that another colleague working in the same department followed the same coaching course and I saw that it helped her.

Once every two weeks, Paul and I talked. During these conversations I was confronted with my behavior and attitude and we tried to discover where their roots could lie.

According to the popular saying, ‘attack is the best defense’. This was exactly what was causing my difficulties. I was asked to give examples and to describe different scenarios. Eventually, we arrived at the problem’s source: me.

With his calm, respectful and patient approach, Paul showed me that I could prevent a lot of irritation and miscommunication in the workplace and in my private life by making a number of minor changes in my behaviour. The goal of these changes was to improve cooperation, functioning and life.

Paul’s coaching has certainly made a difference for me and I would suggest to everyone to at least think about it and to be open to it. Paul is an easily accessible person who is able to really listen and always has time for a conversation.

Everyone can be coached, irrespective of the size of your ego, pride, knowledge and/or life experience.

Female, 37, coordinator


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